Sitting here trying to crack my head on how to deal with rejection and it’s still quite gruelling. The truth is whether we like it or not, at some point in our lives we are going to get rejected, maybe once, twice or more. The question then remains, how we deal with rejection?
Before we can attempt to establish ways of dealing with this issue, we need to ascertain a few facts. Rejection is a form of refusal, negative feedback or denunciation. It may come from anyone, be it a family member, a friend, a crush and even an employer. For most of us, rejection leaves us feeling negative, as if we are condemned goods that have been discarded like they never mattered. Although it leaves such negativity behind, only we can decide to either learn from this rejection, make ourselves better or stay down like there is no point in living to see tomorrow. Rejection leaves not only feelings of condemnation but also doubts which in turn may end up messing up our self-esteem.
However, we don’t always have to stay down because to every cloud there is a silver lining. Look back at all those times that you’ve been rejected and assess how you dealt with them if at all you dealt with them. I remember while I was at the university I had to make a presentation, I was a nervous wreck and unfortunately not one of the best presenters for the day. I remember when other students had to make comments on my presentation and they said some not so nice things which were relatively true. I went home feeling miserable and embarrassed but then I had introspection and realised that those students’ comments weren’t a personalised attack on me as I initially thought. They were just saying it as they saw it and I am forever grateful for their comments. Because I started working on those areas, I became a rather good presenter during lecturers and became more open, not being afraid to voice my opinions. However, some rejection comes not because of what we are doing wrong but because of what other people are doing wrong. For instance, think of that one person you know who constantly puts you down, be it about your weight, clothing or whatever. Sometimes it isn’t because there is something wrong with you but because that person gets a certain level of satisfaction from putting others down probably because of their own issues that they haven’t dealt with.
With that said, rejection messes up our confidence sometimes but I think that with any form of rejection comes a stepping stone. So, instead of being negative about it, realise that throughout your life, people will reject you but only you can decide where that rejection takes you. If its people who always have negative things to say about you, better if you lose them. If it’s a potential employer, work on ways to improve your weak areas hence becoming a better potential employee. Life will always find ways of throwing challenges at you, but all these challenges are leading you to realising your full potential. Do not faint at the sign of trouble, instead, stand firm and know that even if they reject you, God is always on your side.
By;
Lebogang Motlalekgosi
