As South Africa begins its annual 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), a shocking statistic emerges: nearly 23% of South African men believe a woman cannot refuse sex in marriage. This deeply troubling revelation is one of many insights from a recent national GBV study conducted by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC). The study shines a stark light on the attitudes and root causes fueling the country’s unacceptably high rates of GBV.
The study goes beyond statistics to reveal the deeper societal and psychological issues at play. Mental health struggles, childhood trauma, and distorted ideas of masculinity are identified as critical factors driving abusive behaviors. Experts say addressing these underlying causes is essential to breaking the cycle of violence.
Boys Aren’t Born Abusers
According to Craig Wilkinson, founder of the nonprofit Father A Nation (FAN), no boy is inherently abusive. “It’s simply not in a man’s DNA to harm a woman or child,” says Wilkinson. However, untreated trauma, toxic environments, and the lack of positive male role models can warp a boy’s understanding of manhood.
“The SA fatherlessness crisis only worsens this,” Wilkinson explains. Without role models to embody healthy masculinity, young boys adopt destructive notions of power, dominance, and aggression.
Distorted Masculinity Fuels Abuse
The study’s findings paint a grim picture of societal norms and gender expectations in South Africa:
• 70% of men believe a woman must obey her husband.
• 23% believe a wife cannot refuse sex.
• 15% feel it is acceptable for a husband to punish his wife.
These beliefs perpetuate a culture where abuse is normalized, underscoring the need to challenge harmful gender norms. “These attitudes aren’t just outdated—they’re dangerous,” says Wilkinson. “Changing them is crucial to reducing GBV.”
The Cost of Ignoring Mental Health
The HSRC study emphasizes the importance of addressing men’s mental health to combat GBV. Untreated trauma leads to destructive patterns like violence, addiction, and even suicide. Experts call for widespread access to counseling, mentorship, and mental health support, particularly for boys and young men.
Healing Through Accountability
Wilkinson stresses that while trauma and toxic masculinity explain abusive behavior, they can never justify it. FAN’s programs, such as “No Excuse for Abuse,” focus on healing men while holding them accountable for their actions.
“To stop GBV, we must reframe our approach,” says Wilkinson. This involves not only addressing systemic and behavioral drivers of abuse but also dismantling myths that perpetuate harm.
The Way Forward
To tackle GBV, South Africa must foster a culture of healthy masculinity through education, mental health initiatives, and community support. Schools, workplaces, and faith-based organizations must play an active role in challenging toxic norms and equipping men to be protectors, not perpetrators.
“Raising boys to embrace love, respect, and accountability can save women from harm and transform South Africa into a safer, more compassionate society,” Wilkinson says.
This year, let 16 Days of Activism serve as more than just a campaign—it must be a call to action. Healing men, addressing trauma, and challenging toxic masculinity are essential steps toward ending GBV and building a better future for all.
For more on FAN’s impactful initiatives, visit Father A Nation.
