Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A girl meets boy and they become ‘just’ friends! A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes.
Truth be told, such relationships aren’t that easy to maintain, one minute you are friends the next minute you are not sure if its ‘best thing’. But I seriously believe that a man and a woman can never be “just friends” for long (my opinion). In my experience, trust me, it just does not work. I would say – try making a person of the opposite sex your best friend – you just cannot stop but feel for her/him. Mostly because initially we label it as ‘just friends’, but nature however has its way of panning things out. It differs, some can keep it up, while some hit rock bottom before the boat even sails!
Below are signs that your platonic friendship is almost over
- You can’t help but flirt
Excessive flirting and sexual familiarity can lead to unconsciously relinquishing sexual boundaries. It’s crucial to be mindful of the kind of sexual energy you give out. It’s more important to maintain respect for one another’s personal dignity and space. Be mindful of making intimate remarks that may be construed in a sexual context.
- You find yourself always wanting — and needing — more.
Too much attachment coupled with too much neediness can alter the natural dynamic of a platonic relationship. If you find yourself calling too much, trying to get too much face time, you will surely cross the boundaries of restraint.
- You fantasize AND talk about sex.
Just because you and your platonic partner are free to discuss any topic from politics, work, family, psychological or relationships problems with the opposite sex, you still need to be mindful about what you are saying. Be careful about taking flights of sexual fantasy with your platonic friend. Daydreams may spill into your platonic relationship and cause emotional confusion. Too much daydreaming and fantasizing can become habitual and create unwarranted attachment. Be mindfully conscious of your boundaries.
- You start to blab about your “best buddy” relationship.
Your platonic relationship is actually a very private matter. If you bring other people into your dyad, it might complicate or even compromise your relationship. Everyone has an opinion about the “best buddy” story, but the only opinion that’s relevant comes from you and your “best buddy.” Knowing about his/her friends is natural, but exposing too much of your relationship to others can be risky.
- You’ve stopped being mindful about your relationship and often cross boundaries.
Being mindful about how to nurture your platonic relationship with love and keep it emotionally balanced is crucial for lasting friendship. If you find yourself feeling or acting in a manner not befitting your platonic relationship, take a time out and exam some of your unconscious behaviour. Your feelings are not supposed to be of a passionate nature. The natural emotions you feel for your platonic friend — unconditional support and chaste love — are positive and inspirational aspects and bring their own rewards. Always remember to be mindful about how quickly and easily your emotions can go beyond the framework of your chaste friendship.
Plato thought friendships are the highest level or relationship. But even a platonic relationship is not consistency a perfect relationship. There is always some danger and risk involved because, well, we’re human.
